Happy Birthday

Dad.

I went to Target today to get my dad a birthday card, and i started picking up the various cards, and reading them. As i started reading them, i started to tear up at all the sweet things the cards said. Not because im THAT sensitive/emotional when it comes to cards, but because the cards were saying things about dads that mine is not. They said things like " you've always been there for me no matter what." or " you've always been so encouraging, and supportive." or " when i was little you put me on your shoulders so i could have a better view, you were there when i took my first steps." or " your so kind and loving and full of wisdom and guidance." shit like that. then i started thinking about how none of these cards were appropriate for my dad. If i were to give him one of those, it would have been a lie. I teared up thinking that i have never considered my dad to be any of those things. ive never had the dad ive always wanted. they would say things like " we have so many great memories together, that ill cherish forever." nope. not me. I cant recall a single significant memory that i have with my father. no special moments. nothing i particularly care to remember. its really sad. I wish he was the kind of man ive always needed in my life. I wish i was daddys little girl. but im afraid that will never happen. it hurts to know that. im sorry to say that no, your not "the best dad i could ever ask for."

Happy Birthday Dad.