its starting to hit me.

i cant stop thinking about moving. im excited, yes. excited to get my life going. excited to finally be feeling like im doing something, getting somewhere. But, it really hit me today, as i was registering for classes that im MOVING for good. Im not coming back. All the wonderful people ive met here, all the memories i have. FINISHED. Yeah, ill keep in touch with people, but its not the same. Ill never have close relationships with any of them ever again. This makes me so sad i cant even explain. No more comfort zone. No more mom to talk to every morning. No more big comfy room with all my stuff on the walls and all my random shit ive collected over the years sitting everywhere. No more Gucci, the sweetest most loveable dog. No more huge awesome gym where i know almost everyone, where i accomplished so much. No more Starbucks where i can go and almost always see someone i know. Im terrified of being lonely. What if i dont make any friends? What if the only people i have to talk to are my brother and my dad who i can barely stand? What if something happens to my mom or my grandma while im away? I dont want to miss out on whats going on here. I fear that Ill come back to visit and no one will care. Or ill have gone so long without seeing them that they will have forgotten about me. 

now, here i am. i cant sleep and im crying because im so sad. Ive been alone for 4 days straight. litterally sitting in my room for 4 days without talking to anyone. Thats not good for my mental well-being. I need comfort. I need some reassurance that everything is going to work out.